‘Imagine yourself sitting at the keys
of a magnificent grand piano. The lights in the room reflect brightly on the
highly polished surface of the ebony stained wood. You’re comfortably situated
in a large banquet room filled with people. The music before you is clearly
labeled “Matrimony; A Duet.” Throughout the evening dinner guests approach the
piano and with a puzzled look say, “hey, why don’t you play that music?”
“I’d like to,” you respond, “but it’s
a duet, I need somebody to sit here and play it with me.” “Well, you’re not
trying hard enough,” they mutter as they wander off. You wonder to yourself if
you could possibly play all the notes the music requires with only ten fingers.
A moment later someone else notices you sitting all alone and says, “Hey, how
come you’re not playing that piece?” You can’t understand why they haven’t
noticed that the music clearly calls for another pianist but you politely
answer, “Well, I’d like to play this song, I really would, but someone has to
chose to sit beside me and play it with me. I can’t play alone.”
“Oh well, you could play if you had
more faith!” They remark as they walk away.
More faith, you wonder? Could having more faith give me two more hands?
You’re no longer surprised when a third observer walks up and asks, “Aren’t you
gonna play that piece?”
“Oh, I’d really like to,” you
respond, “and I know I should, and I’m sure the music is beautiful, but someone
else who has agency, like I do, has to voluntarily sit beside me and play.”
“Well, I think you’re just being too
picky.” They advise as they leave….’ ...When it comes to matrimony
someone else has to voluntarily join you and having more faith, trying harder,
and being less choosey cannot effect someone else’s agency."
-John Bytheway
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