ha

"If you love someone set them free if you have to stalk them, they probably weren't yours in the first place."

"Life is like a straw- it only sucks if you do!"

"There are two things I cannot stand, people who are intolerant of other people's lifestyles, and gays!" E. G. Shea

“Having a body double…isn’t weird. Double dating… isn’t weird. Body double dating, where you date your body double… that’s weird!” James Littlejohn
“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”

 "You laugh because I'm different...I laugh cause I just farted!"

 “They should not be called boobies… they should be called yaybies!”

"If I ever marry, it will be necessary to partner with someone who can support the sort of lifestyle I've grown accustomed to. For that, I'll need to meet someone who makes at least 20k a year. I mean, that ramen isnt going to buy itself." M. Miller



A friend of a friend woke up in the middle of the night with the best joke ever and wrote it down. The next morning he found this:
B is for Bryson
R
Y
S is for Estrogen
O
N